Being a Bombay girl at heart........ born & brought up in Bombay(I somehow don't like calling it mumbai...though some people may object to that too!!!).........it really pains me to see the Great language ®ional hangama going on right now!!..............The beauty of bombay is in the way in which it holds its cosmopolitan community together....where people of all regions,caste&creed have always lived in harmony!!The cosmopolitan spirit is something that i'm proud to have imbibed from b'bay&its teaming millions..........
In fact the Common man in b'bay is extremely proud of this!!Come to think of it,I had friends from all communities-Marathi,gujurati,Muslim,Shetty,Sindhis,Punjabis,Marwadis,Keralites etc etc ......&we never once thought about each other that way!!We were just Bombay kuddis!!!The only thing that mattered to us is that we always had an amazing array of food to eat-from bhakarvadis to chats to idli-dosas,rajma chawal,puri-chole&of course wada pav!!
I spoke to some of my Maharashtrian friends&they're more offended &outraged by the comments rather than the Non-Maharashtrians!!!That's the spirit of Bombay..which no dirty politics can break!!
It's all very easy for some ill aboding politicians to say-"throw out the outsiders....but what would b'bay be without the Shetty udupi hotels,the northie bhaiyyas with their yummy bhel&panipuri,the sardarji taxi drivers,the hundreds of panbeedi&chai shops which are solely run by so called outsiders &are the pulse of Bombay city!!!
So Mr Publicity crazy Politicians -please divert ur attention to the hundreds of farmers dying in Maharashtra .rather than muddying the beautiful &harmonious environment of Bombay Meri Jaan!!!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Victory over "MR NO"!!!
Hey,I'm so happy today!!It suddenly hit me that I've actually got over my fear of facing a "No".......:)I used to be one of those people who will not even bother to ask for something ,in anticipation of being turned down"What will that person think about me","how will I face them again","it's just not worth the risk ","why bother,they'll say no anyways","why should i talk to someone new-they won't respond".....were the first thoughts that used to enter my mind............;)
And I'm sure that happens with all of us too......We are so sure we're going to get turned down that we don't even bother asking !.....And god forbid if someone responds negatively,we take it immediately to heart and feel rejected-"they don't care about me""why did i even bother","i'm a failure","i'll never ask again"...........doesn't that sound familiar....it did to me just a few months ago;)..I used to get really upset&probably never risk it again!!
And now that it has dawned on me that a "NO" is always to a request and not to the all important "ME".......sigh...I can't tell you what a relief that is!!!So now it doesn't matter how many "nos " i hear ,it's only for the request right...so how does it affect me!!!
Have you noticed how little kids keep asking for something they want&just don't care how many times we turn them down.......it just doesn't matter to them!!And finally,they always manage to get their way;)....coz they know that we're only saying no to the icecreams&the chocolates,but not actually to them!!!
.........but for us so called knowledgeable adults;),just one "no"is enough to get us down forever!!!
I have been inviting some close friends&relatives of mine for a life altering programme which is very dear to my heart!Initially when i was my old self ,i used to even hesitate to talk about it.....what will they think about me"MODE;)I used to even feel a little odd to keep calling them.......
..But now when they are not able to fulfill my request due to genuine reasons,it just doesn't bother me at all!!!I just somehow understand that they still care as much about me even if they don't turn up!!
Today a buddy of mine complimented me on being understanding about him not turning up for the umpteenth time(although he had really wanted to come) &for patiently following up every time,That's when it dawned on me that i hadn't even realised that i had called so many times&more importantly that i was actually not upset at all!!I owe him one for acknowledging me and giving me that breakthrough:)!
That's when it hit me that this was the new me,free from all imaginary upsets &I had actually conquered my biggest enemy"MR NO".! And how could I forget that I had been saying no for the same programme for 7 years:)........what if my friends had given up on me??I would never have achieved what I have today!!!
I can now face all the imaginary and real "NO"s at work,in relationships&life itself,which used to tie me down-with a "so what"!!.......Hurrah!I'm so happy and honestly very relieved too...:)
So it's now...."HALLA BOL" on MR NO!!.......
P.S..........all the guys wooing their girlfriends can take a hint from me...get going,guys!!!
And I'm sure that happens with all of us too......We are so sure we're going to get turned down that we don't even bother asking !.....And god forbid if someone responds negatively,we take it immediately to heart and feel rejected-"they don't care about me""why did i even bother","i'm a failure","i'll never ask again"...........doesn't that sound familiar....it did to me just a few months ago;)..I used to get really upset&probably never risk it again!!
And now that it has dawned on me that a "NO" is always to a request and not to the all important "ME".......sigh...I can't tell you what a relief that is!!!So now it doesn't matter how many "nos " i hear ,it's only for the request right...so how does it affect me!!!
Have you noticed how little kids keep asking for something they want&just don't care how many times we turn them down.......it just doesn't matter to them!!And finally,they always manage to get their way;)....coz they know that we're only saying no to the icecreams&the chocolates,but not actually to them!!!
.........but for us so called knowledgeable adults;),just one "no"is enough to get us down forever!!!
I have been inviting some close friends&relatives of mine for a life altering programme which is very dear to my heart!Initially when i was my old self ,i used to even hesitate to talk about it.....what will they think about me"MODE;)I used to even feel a little odd to keep calling them.......
..But now when they are not able to fulfill my request due to genuine reasons,it just doesn't bother me at all!!!I just somehow understand that they still care as much about me even if they don't turn up!!
Today a buddy of mine complimented me on being understanding about him not turning up for the umpteenth time(although he had really wanted to come) &for patiently following up every time,That's when it dawned on me that i hadn't even realised that i had called so many times&more importantly that i was actually not upset at all!!I owe him one for acknowledging me and giving me that breakthrough:)!
That's when it hit me that this was the new me,free from all imaginary upsets &I had actually conquered my biggest enemy"MR NO".! And how could I forget that I had been saying no for the same programme for 7 years:)........what if my friends had given up on me??I would never have achieved what I have today!!!
I can now face all the imaginary and real "NO"s at work,in relationships&life itself,which used to tie me down-with a "so what"!!.......Hurrah!I'm so happy and honestly very relieved too...:)
So it's now...."HALLA BOL" on MR NO!!.......
P.S..........all the guys wooing their girlfriends can take a hint from me...get going,guys!!!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Don't worry,be happy!!!
Worry-The biggest curse of our lives!!
Worry is of 2 types-1. over things we can't control- which is anyways useless;)
2.over things we can control-so why worry at all if u can control or do something abt it;)
This week, my visa application was approved !!!A big load off my head or rather my daughter's :)She was convinced that we wouldn't be getting it&was already planning a backup plan just in case the visa was nt okayed!!!!She just couldn't stop herself from compulsively worrying about it.....She was wondering whether to try again with her school or her aunt-till i had to tell her to just let go!!I for once was sure we would definitely get it,so I didn't lose any sleep over it!!!It was only when i told her that only 98% of what we feared never happened &only 2% actually occurred,did she relax a bit!!My little son who has now understood this philosophy, reminded her how he had helped his friends get over their tiny worries (which looked real big to them!!)................that she took a chill pill!!
That reminded me of the time,when my uncle was admitted with a mild heart attack last month.We were all really really worried about the 100% &90% blocks in his heart.......gave us sleepless nights with all sorts of ideas entering our heads-We were wondering what action to take next,till a leading doctor just laughed off&dismissed the report abt the blocks-He said it had always been there from the last 10 yrs &he had already done a bypass to treat it-so that was not the problem at all-so there was nothing at all to worry about!What a relief that was ---and
that set me thinking-the 2% theory does hold true after all!!!;)
Worry is of 2 types-1. over things we can't control- which is anyways useless;)
2.over things we can control-so why worry at all if u can control or do something abt it;)
This week, my visa application was approved !!!A big load off my head or rather my daughter's :)She was convinced that we wouldn't be getting it&was already planning a backup plan just in case the visa was nt okayed!!!!She just couldn't stop herself from compulsively worrying about it.....She was wondering whether to try again with her school or her aunt-till i had to tell her to just let go!!I for once was sure we would definitely get it,so I didn't lose any sleep over it!!!It was only when i told her that only 98% of what we feared never happened &only 2% actually occurred,did she relax a bit!!My little son who has now understood this philosophy, reminded her how he had helped his friends get over their tiny worries (which looked real big to them!!)................that she took a chill pill!!
That reminded me of the time,when my uncle was admitted with a mild heart attack last month.We were all really really worried about the 100% &90% blocks in his heart.......gave us sleepless nights with all sorts of ideas entering our heads-We were wondering what action to take next,till a leading doctor just laughed off&dismissed the report abt the blocks-He said it had always been there from the last 10 yrs &he had already done a bypass to treat it-so that was not the problem at all-so there was nothing at all to worry about!What a relief that was ---and
that set me thinking-the 2% theory does hold true after all!!!;)
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!!!
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!!!
Right now,I'm fascinated with my inner voice(MIV)......(u've heard about MIT ,but beleive me ,this is a notch ahead!!)....Yeah ,let me introduce u to my most loyal companion;)-(coz it just doesn't let go of me!!)-It's the little nonstop chatter in my head which probably ...-make that definitely controls each&every action of mine-what i talk,what i think,how i act&react in every waking moment of mine......In fact my inner voice is so talkative...I just realised why is it that I even talk in my sleep,much to the chagrin of people around me:)
It's such fun to start noticing all the extremely stupid things it says most of the time.....even before the person in front of me has opened their mouths,I already know what they're going to say&am ready with a reaction or retort to that!!I'm so busy listening to that voice of mine,that most of the time I just don't listen to what is being said-My omnipresent allknowing voice already knows everything ,remember!!;) ...so why shd i listen?............i just react to something unsaid!!
Another amazing fact about the voice in my head is-It's always proved right!!If my MIV says"she's an idiot"guess what relationship we share;)........If i need to get something done,MIV says forget it,"it'll never get done"....lo &behold, it never does!!!If i need someone's permission or approval,MIV says :"He'll/She'll never ok it"and.............guess what happens;)!!!!I probably end up never asking....why take the trouble-MIV says it's no use!There was a time in my life when my inner voice was not just talking,but doing gymnastics:)Until I said enough is enough ........But now that I've latched onto it,I've devised a way around the voice in my head....SHHHHHH!!!!Hp it's nt listening in!!;)I first notice what MIV is telling me-Then I just look at myself in the mirror or talk to myself &tell MIV to just shut up!!!!I then feed in new thoughts to the voice in my head-thoughts like "of course it will work" or "U can do it" and Guess what......the new thoughts work!!!!!......coz MIV has a track record of always creating situations to prove itself right........!!-Feed your inner voice positive thoughts constantly&watch how it becomes a slave to it!!!!Try it out&let me know!!!!I'm sure it works-btw ...that's my inner voice talking;)
Right now,I'm fascinated with my inner voice(MIV)......(u've heard about MIT ,but beleive me ,this is a notch ahead!!)....Yeah ,let me introduce u to my most loyal companion;)-(coz it just doesn't let go of me!!)-It's the little nonstop chatter in my head which probably ...-make that definitely controls each&every action of mine-what i talk,what i think,how i act&react in every waking moment of mine......In fact my inner voice is so talkative...I just realised why is it that I even talk in my sleep,much to the chagrin of people around me:)
It's such fun to start noticing all the extremely stupid things it says most of the time.....even before the person in front of me has opened their mouths,I already know what they're going to say&am ready with a reaction or retort to that!!I'm so busy listening to that voice of mine,that most of the time I just don't listen to what is being said-My omnipresent allknowing voice already knows everything ,remember!!;) ...so why shd i listen?............i just react to something unsaid!!
Another amazing fact about the voice in my head is-It's always proved right!!If my MIV says"she's an idiot"guess what relationship we share;)........If i need to get something done,MIV says forget it,"it'll never get done"....lo &behold, it never does!!!If i need someone's permission or approval,MIV says :"He'll/She'll never ok it"and.............guess what happens;)!!!!I probably end up never asking....why take the trouble-MIV says it's no use!There was a time in my life when my inner voice was not just talking,but doing gymnastics:)Until I said enough is enough ........But now that I've latched onto it,I've devised a way around the voice in my head....SHHHHHH!!!!Hp it's nt listening in!!;)I first notice what MIV is telling me-Then I just look at myself in the mirror or talk to myself &tell MIV to just shut up!!!!I then feed in new thoughts to the voice in my head-thoughts like "of course it will work" or "U can do it" and Guess what......the new thoughts work!!!!!......coz MIV has a track record of always creating situations to prove itself right........!!-Feed your inner voice positive thoughts constantly&watch how it becomes a slave to it!!!!Try it out&let me know!!!!I'm sure it works-btw ...that's my inner voice talking;)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Putting.......... off things!!!!
I believe that procrastination used to truly be the bane of my life;)..........I'm a master at putting off things......Somehow i always found a reason for not doing something&very valid reasons at that!!I always had a long to do list-with regards to my health,finance,career stored in my phone's memory,which obviously i never bothered to look at............so they always maintained a very stable status -quo;)
But the irony was that I was the first person to carry out errands fr people,take my kids&inlaws to the hospital or book tickets fr my friends.I was extremely prompt when it came to other people ,even to the extent of putting off my work but not fr myself!!I remember carrying around a nomination for excellence in enterpreneurship for almost a month before i actually got around to filling &posting it.
It was only when it struck me that I only put off things that I needed to do for myself that I woke up !!!I began to examine why I behaved in such a peculiar manner and it finally dawned on me that I just never considered myself important enough!!Is it surprising then that I neglected my health,my career......anything to do with ME!!!
So now that gyaan has dawned ,I've started setting right this imbalance in my life!!!How will I be able to take care of other people's health when I'm sick myself....or be a support to someone when my career itself was stuck....
So I've started ticking off MY to do list with a vengeance.....started my health checkups,my export plans&am more organised now.....It's actually great fun deleting each one off the list......still a long way to go.....but my to do list has come down to only 5 imp items from 20 which is simply great....I'm actually blogging every week now(which is also due to a kind soul's encouragement;)...but it feels really good to express yourself!!
I was missing out on all this !!!
It's true when they say that U can only create happiness fro others when u're happy& self fulfilled yourself!!:)
But the irony was that I was the first person to carry out errands fr people,take my kids&inlaws to the hospital or book tickets fr my friends.I was extremely prompt when it came to other people ,even to the extent of putting off my work but not fr myself!!I remember carrying around a nomination for excellence in enterpreneurship for almost a month before i actually got around to filling &posting it.
It was only when it struck me that I only put off things that I needed to do for myself that I woke up !!!I began to examine why I behaved in such a peculiar manner and it finally dawned on me that I just never considered myself important enough!!Is it surprising then that I neglected my health,my career......anything to do with ME!!!
So now that gyaan has dawned ,I've started setting right this imbalance in my life!!!How will I be able to take care of other people's health when I'm sick myself....or be a support to someone when my career itself was stuck....
So I've started ticking off MY to do list with a vengeance.....started my health checkups,my export plans&am more organised now.....It's actually great fun deleting each one off the list......still a long way to go.....but my to do list has come down to only 5 imp items from 20 which is simply great....I'm actually blogging every week now(which is also due to a kind soul's encouragement;)...but it feels really good to express yourself!!
I was missing out on all this !!!
It's true when they say that U can only create happiness fro others when u're happy& self fulfilled yourself!!:)
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Reach out to your kids!!!!
It's an undescribable feeling when u feel one with your kids...It's so beautiful when they open up to you so completely...and share themselves with you.As a mother I have always been around for my kids,but now i realise never really with them....!!I used to do loads of things for them,get all their work done&see that they always had what we wanted......until the day I realised that all they ever wanted was me!!!:)
It was only when I started spending real time with them &sharing my feelings with them,that they started opening up to me.I suppose I now seem more human to them,not the perfect mother who can't do anything wrong ,but a friend who did as many silly things as they did....I think when we create a space in which we too are imperfect and human,it no longer becomes necessary for the other person to hide behind what we civilized people call "Looking good"...That in a nutshell is what sets up the space for real communication,from the heart &soul........much above the superficial conversations that we all have where we are busy convincing the other person how wonderful we really are...;)
For the first time ever my teenage daughter could share all her adolescent feelings,aspirations and confusions with me......she revealed how she used to be so scared of me as she thought I would never understand her feelings.....now she actually asks for my advice as to how to stand up to her peers and make the choice about what's right and wrong...Amazing stuff from a 13 yr old who till recently used to do exactly the opposite of whatever i said:)...
It really touched me when my little son said"U don't play with us like the mummies in the ads on tv!!"Now he is so thrilled when he gets to play at hot wheels with me,that i get to hear all the stories at school,of the times that he feels great and even of the times he feels shy&scared....which i'm actually able to resolve for him!!
I only wish I could have been the same way with my parents coz I realize just what I have deprived them of!!For me the joy of being a friend to my kids is just priceless!!!
It was only when I started spending real time with them &sharing my feelings with them,that they started opening up to me.I suppose I now seem more human to them,not the perfect mother who can't do anything wrong ,but a friend who did as many silly things as they did....I think when we create a space in which we too are imperfect and human,it no longer becomes necessary for the other person to hide behind what we civilized people call "Looking good"...That in a nutshell is what sets up the space for real communication,from the heart &soul........much above the superficial conversations that we all have where we are busy convincing the other person how wonderful we really are...;)
For the first time ever my teenage daughter could share all her adolescent feelings,aspirations and confusions with me......she revealed how she used to be so scared of me as she thought I would never understand her feelings.....now she actually asks for my advice as to how to stand up to her peers and make the choice about what's right and wrong...Amazing stuff from a 13 yr old who till recently used to do exactly the opposite of whatever i said:)...
It really touched me when my little son said"U don't play with us like the mummies in the ads on tv!!"Now he is so thrilled when he gets to play at hot wheels with me,that i get to hear all the stories at school,of the times that he feels great and even of the times he feels shy&scared....which i'm actually able to resolve for him!!
I only wish I could have been the same way with my parents coz I realize just what I have deprived them of!!For me the joy of being a friend to my kids is just priceless!!!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!!
Follow my heart!!!-That's been my new year resolution&for once in my life, I'm proud to say I've kept my promise to myself!!Somehow i don't know why-but I feel like I've finally grown up this birthday...:).....This year has been quite an emotional year,a turning point of sorts for me...
As someone said, we don't even follow 10%of what our heart says and always are what other people want us to be....All my life,I have always been a most prim&proper person(as my sis was teasing me sometime back)- who was always bothered about what other people will say!!!I have always hesitated to do small little things in life...may be wearing western clothes to relatives places or hv a short haircut or even speaking up against something!!!It was always WHAT WILL THEY SAY!I don't think we even know who "they" IS!
The funniest part is no one really gives a damn what u do!!
This year ,I suddenly realized I hv no identity of my own& said to myself-Enough is enough............
So I'm finally doing what I always wanted to-be it speaking my mind,changing my look or doing a family dance (I was fed up watching only others on stage) or even wearing jeans to family meets!!!I used to want to do that every year(esp when I used 2 see the others so comfortable &I used to be sweltering away in the salwars &sarees)-No one really cares a hoot -everyone is too busy in their own lives to bother about what u're doing or not doing-in fact all I got was appreciatn:) For example- I always used to avoid wearing jeans to my aunt's house-the same problem -what will the elders think-And the other day she saw me,&turns around and says-why don't you always dress like this-u look much better than in salwars!I was like ......:):D lol ..Just shows how unfounded our fears really are......
I think another thing in which we all have been indoctrined is to take everything lying down-It's always-why bother-things r never going to change anyways attitude-so don't interfere.........
I'm glad I now have finally found the guts to speak up against injustice -and not have a laid back" what can I do,why should I interfere attitude!!!At least in the recent tragedy affecting one of my cousins,I'm happy that at least we stood by her&were ready to give her any support possible.If I could make a small difference to anyone's life,I'll be at peace!!!! I'll do my best in whatever small way I can&leave the rest to GOD!!!
As someone said, we don't even follow 10%of what our heart says and always are what other people want us to be....All my life,I have always been a most prim&proper person(as my sis was teasing me sometime back)- who was always bothered about what other people will say!!!I have always hesitated to do small little things in life...may be wearing western clothes to relatives places or hv a short haircut or even speaking up against something!!!It was always WHAT WILL THEY SAY!I don't think we even know who "they" IS!
The funniest part is no one really gives a damn what u do!!
This year ,I suddenly realized I hv no identity of my own& said to myself-Enough is enough............
So I'm finally doing what I always wanted to-be it speaking my mind,changing my look or doing a family dance (I was fed up watching only others on stage) or even wearing jeans to family meets!!!I used to want to do that every year(esp when I used 2 see the others so comfortable &I used to be sweltering away in the salwars &sarees)-No one really cares a hoot -everyone is too busy in their own lives to bother about what u're doing or not doing-in fact all I got was appreciatn:) For example- I always used to avoid wearing jeans to my aunt's house-the same problem -what will the elders think-And the other day she saw me,&turns around and says-why don't you always dress like this-u look much better than in salwars!I was like ......:):D lol ..Just shows how unfounded our fears really are......
I think another thing in which we all have been indoctrined is to take everything lying down-It's always-why bother-things r never going to change anyways attitude-so don't interfere.........
I'm glad I now have finally found the guts to speak up against injustice -and not have a laid back" what can I do,why should I interfere attitude!!!At least in the recent tragedy affecting one of my cousins,I'm happy that at least we stood by her&were ready to give her any support possible.If I could make a small difference to anyone's life,I'll be at peace!!!! I'll do my best in whatever small way I can&leave the rest to GOD!!!
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