Don't worry,be happy!!!

Worry-The biggest curse of our lives!!
Worry is of 2 types-1. over things we can't control- which is anyways useless;)
2.over things we can control-so why worry at all if u can control or do something abt it;)


This week, my visa application was approved !!!A big load off my head or rather my daughter's :)She was convinced that we wouldn't be getting it&was already planning a backup plan just in case the visa was nt okayed!!!!She just couldn't stop herself from compulsively worrying about it.....She was wondering whether to try again with her school or her aunt-till i had to tell her to just let go!!I for once was sure we would definitely get it,so I didn't lose any sleep over it!!!It was only when i told her that only 98% of what we feared never happened &only 2% actually occurred,did she relax a bit!!My little son who has now understood this philosophy, reminded her how he had helped his friends get over their tiny worries (which looked real big to them!!)................that she took a chill pill!!

That reminded me of the time,when my uncle was admitted with a mild heart attack last month.We were all really really worried about the 100% &90% blocks in his heart.......gave us sleepless nights with all sorts of ideas entering our heads-We were wondering what action to take next,till a leading doctor just laughed off&dismissed the report abt the blocks-He said it had always been there from the last 10 yrs &he had already done a bypass to treat it-so that was not the problem at all-so there was nothing at all to worry about!What a relief that was ---and
that set me thinking-the 2% theory does hold true after all!!!;)

THE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!!!

THE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!!!
Right now,I'm fascinated with my inner voice(MIV)......(u've heard about MIT ,but beleive me ,this is a notch ahead!!)....Yeah ,let me introduce u to my most loyal companion;)-(coz it just doesn't let go of me!!)-It's the little nonstop chatter in my head which probably ...-make that definitely controls each&every action of mine-what i talk,what i think,how i act&react in every waking moment of mine......In fact my inner voice is so talkative...I just realised why is it that I even talk in my sleep,much to the chagrin of people around me:)

It's such fun to start noticing all the extremely stupid things it says most of the time.....even before the person in front of me has opened their mouths,I already know what they're going to say&am ready with a reaction or retort to that!!I'm so busy listening to that voice of mine,that most of the time I just don't listen to what is being said-My omnipresent allknowing voice already knows everything ,remember!!;) ...so why shd i listen?............i just react to something unsaid!!

Another amazing fact about the voice in my head is-It's always proved right!!If my MIV says"she's an idiot"guess what relationship we share;)........If i need to get something done,MIV says forget it,"it'll never get done"....lo &behold, it never does!!!If i need someone's permission or approval,MIV says :"He'll/She'll never ok it"and.............guess what happens;)!!!!I probably end up never asking....why take the trouble-MIV says it's no use!There was a time in my life when my inner voice was not just talking,but doing gymnastics:)Until I said enough is enough ........But now that I've latched onto it,I've devised a way around the voice in my head....SHHHHHH!!!!Hp it's nt listening in!!;)I first notice what MIV is telling me-Then I just look at myself in the mirror or talk to myself &tell MIV to just shut up!!!!I then feed in new thoughts to the voice in my head-thoughts like "of course it will work" or "U can do it" and Guess what......the new thoughts work!!!!!......coz MIV has a track record of always creating situations to prove itself right........!!-Feed your inner voice positive thoughts constantly&watch how it becomes a slave to it!!!!Try it out&let me know!!!!I'm sure it works-btw ...that's my inner voice talking;)

Putting.......... off things!!!!

I believe that procrastination used to truly be the bane of my life;)..........I'm a master at putting off things......Somehow i always found a reason for not doing something&very valid reasons at that!!I always had a long to do list-with regards to my health,finance,career stored in my phone's memory,which obviously i never bothered to look at............so they always maintained a very stable status -quo;)

But the irony was that I was the first person to carry out errands fr people,take my kids&inlaws to the hospital or book tickets fr my friends.I was extremely prompt when it came to other people ,even to the extent of putting off my work but not fr myself!!I remember carrying around a nomination for excellence in enterpreneurship for almost a month before i actually got around to filling &posting it.

It was only when it struck me that I only put off things that I needed to do for myself that I woke up !!!I began to examine why I behaved in such a peculiar manner and it finally dawned on me that I just never considered myself important enough!!Is it surprising then that I neglected my health,my career......anything to do with ME!!!
So now that gyaan has dawned ,I've started setting right this imbalance in my life!!!How will I be able to take care of other people's health when I'm sick myself....or be a support to someone when my career itself was stuck....
So I've started ticking off MY to do list with a vengeance.....started my health checkups,my export plans&am more organised now.....It's actually great fun deleting each one off the list......still a long way to go.....but my to do list has come down to only 5 imp items from 20 which is simply great....I'm actually blogging every week now(which is also due to a kind soul's encouragement;)...but it feels really good to express yourself!!

I was missing out on all this !!!
It's true when they say that U can only create happiness fro others when u're happy& self fulfilled yourself!!:)

Reach out to your kids!!!!

It's an undescribable feeling when u feel one with your kids...It's so beautiful when they open up to you so completely...and share themselves with you.As a mother I have always been around for my kids,but now i realise never really with them....!!I used to do loads of things for them,get all their work done&see that they always had what we wanted......until the day I realised that all they ever wanted was me!!!:)


It was only when I started spending real time with them &sharing my feelings with them,that they started opening up to me.I suppose I now seem more human to them,not the perfect mother who can't do anything wrong ,but a friend who did as many silly things as they did....I think when we create a space in which we too are imperfect and human,it no longer becomes necessary for the other person to hide behind what we civilized people call "Looking good"...That in a nutshell is what sets up the space for real communication,from the heart &soul........much above the superficial conversations that we all have where we are busy convincing the other person how wonderful we really are...;)

For the first time ever my teenage daughter could share all her adolescent feelings,aspirations and confusions with me......she revealed how she used to be so scared of me as she thought I would never understand her feelings.....now she actually asks for my advice as to how to stand up to her peers and make the choice about what's right and wrong...Amazing stuff from a 13 yr old who till recently used to do exactly the opposite of whatever i said:)...

It really touched me when my little son said"U don't play with us like the mummies in the ads on tv!!"Now he is so thrilled when he gets to play at hot wheels with me,that i get to hear all the stories at school,of the times that he feels great and even of the times he feels shy&scared....which i'm actually able to resolve for him!!
I only wish I could have been the same way with my parents coz I realize just what I have deprived them of!!For me the joy of being a friend to my kids is just priceless!!!

FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!!

Follow my heart!!!-That's been my new year resolution&for once in my life, I'm proud to say I've kept my promise to myself!!Somehow i don't know why-but I feel like I've finally grown up this birthday...:).....This year has been quite an emotional year,a turning point of sorts for me...
As someone said, we don't even follow 10%of what our heart says and always are what other people want us to be....All my life,I have always been a most prim&proper person(as my sis was teasing me sometime back)- who was always bothered about what other people will say!!!I have always hesitated to do small little things in life...may be wearing western clothes to relatives places or hv a short haircut or even speaking up against something!!!It was always WHAT WILL THEY SAY!I don't think we even know who "they" IS!
The funniest part is no one really gives a damn what u do!!

This year ,I suddenly realized I hv no identity of my own& said to myself-Enough is enough............
So I'm finally doing what I always wanted to-be it speaking my mind,changing my look or doing a family dance (I was fed up watching only others on stage) or even wearing jeans to family meets!!!I used to want to do that every year(esp when I used 2 see the others so comfortable &I used to be sweltering away in the salwars &sarees)-No one really cares a hoot -everyone is too busy in their own lives to bother about what u're doing or not doing-in fact all I got was appreciatn:) For example- I always used to avoid wearing jeans to my aunt's house-the same problem -what will the elders think-And the other day she saw me,&turns around and says-why don't you always dress like this-u look much better than in salwars!I was like ......:):D lol ..Just shows how unfounded our fears really are......


I think another thing in which we all have been indoctrined is to take everything lying down-It's always-why bother-things r never going to change anyways attitude-so don't interfere.........
I'm glad I now have finally found the guts to speak up against injustice -and not have a laid back" what can I do,why should I interfere attitude!!!At least in the recent tragedy affecting one of my cousins,I'm happy that at least we stood by her&were ready to give her any support possible.If I could make a small difference to anyone's life,I'll be at peace!!!! I'll do my best in whatever small way I can&leave the rest to GOD!!!